At Shadomain we love having discussions with anyone interested in games and having more fun. We’ll suggest interesting topics for discussion in our groups and publish comments here and talk about them in our YouTube channel.
This week (July 8, 2026) we’re joined by Mat “Role Play Chat” Copelli to talk about romance in TTRPGs. If you want to read more about Mat see excerpts from a Q&A he did with us a while back below.
If you want to add some comments to our future discussions, join our private email group by sending an email to sh**********@***il.com or join our Discord.
The Topic: How Do You Feel About Romance in TTRPGs?
How do you feel about romance in TTRPGs? In a sci-fi or fantasy game, is it ok in play? Should it be kept behind the scenes? What about a modern game that was about relationships?
Some Cool Responses
As long as the table is fine with it, in game romance can be a fun addition to the story, regardless of the setting
Nyx
I do include romance but only player-initiated, and only very light handed. An attractive NPC and fun here and there, who welcomes flirting—then a relationship can develop over time, with a fade to black if anything more than a kiss or hug is assumed to occur. It is never a large part of my games, but it’s possible if the players are interested.
Sir James
I am far too awkward to have a PC-PC relationship with anyone other than my wife. I think I put too much of myself into my characters. Though being the forever GM, somehow I dissociate myself enough when creating NPCs that it’s fine.
I’m fine with it, but generally only if it’s PC to NPC or PC to PC with my significant other/spouse. I don’t have a problem with how other players want to do it, though, if they want it included for them. It can be a great way to add dimension to a game. I once had a PC fall for an NPC that the DM then managed to work into the story a few different ways, once as a disguise for the enemy knowing our party would let our guard down for him.
GamerMomLuna
I’ve not really played a lot with romance as a theme. I think the largest hurdle is asking, either explicitly or implicitly, for players to perform romance at the table, and I think that makes most non-actors uncomfortable (which is most players). That said, as a motivation for characters, I think it should come up a lot more often, and would be happy if it did so.
The Merlitron
I’m cool with PCs having relationships with NPCs, but I will usually have it fade to black after a certain point. PC to PC relationships can get awkward at the table and I prefer those to be mostly background details ironed out by the players on their own. Anything explicit is always fade to black for me. (I’ve had some Players try to make the game awkward with characters who like to visit certain houses of ill repute.)
Crazy Weasel
We had a lovely time in one game giving relationship advice to an NPC to date his wife’s PC. We all still remember that fondly.
Mama Strange
Wrapping It Up
We got lots of different opinions but we could summarize that most people would be ok with it, but usually prefer that the details are “off screen”. Interestingly we didn’t get responses from people who’d played a game based around romance or relationships, but that’s understandable as adventure games dominate the hobby.
What do you think? Let us know.
And if you want to join our discussions, join our private email group by sending an email to sh**********@***il.com or join our Discord.
More about Mat
Hi! I’m Mat. I’m a TTRPG podcaster, host and writer! I can be found hosting Role Play Chat, a TTRPG advice podcast, live every other week on all major podcasting platforms. You can also connect with me on:
- Twitter https://twitter.com/Role_Play_Chat
- Insta- https://www.instagram.com/role_play_chat/
- Mastodon – https://dice.camp/@Role_Play_Chat
- Hive – @roleplaychat
- Linktree – https://linktr.ee/role_play_chat
Do you prefer GMing or Playing, and why?
I love both so so much but if I had to choose I would pick GMing! GMing offers me a creative outlet that facilitates collaborative creation like no other hobby I have tried. It lets me build worlds and places, and characters and share what I’ve done with my friends in a dynamic way that feels fun and engaging. I also really love crafting and painting miniatures which I find bleed into my creative process for homebrewing. It sparks my imagination in fun and interesting ways by setting visual and physical queues that I and my table can work off of!
What other hobbies are you interested in?
I’m a general nerd and love all forms of nerdom! I’m a big fan of TTRPG adjacent things. This includes things like miniature painting, terrain making, board games, video games, and card games. If I can’t play a TTRPG, I often look to draft magic cards with my friends, play a round of Overwatch or crack open Pandemic Legacy (I’m working my way through season 0 right now). I’m also a TTRPG podcaster and LOVE hearing about (and amplifying) other people’s contributions to the hobby. I do all the editing and whatnot for the show too, and when I’m in the right mood that can be loads of fun! Outside of that I’m a big hockey and soccer fan. I love to travel and love to eat!
Describe your favorite TTRPG character you’ve created
One of my favourite TTRPG characters is Ambrose the Shalia Priest. Ambrose is a very eager and boisterous person who rushes head first into a problem with the best of intentions. He however is also a broken man, filled with regret and sadness. He often acts quickly in an effort to be the first to solve a problem, doing this in search for positive validation from the party. He aims to learn about healing and resurrection in an effort to bring back the love of his life, someone who he lost due to his inaction. He can be a bit of a handful but his charade of “fun and eagerness” is very enjoyable to play after a long work week and his depth and insecurities add a wonderful layer for drama when me and my table are feeling up to the task of dissecting.
What celebrity would you like to GM or play an RPG with?
Patrick Rothfuss, the author of the Kingkiller Chronicles, is someone who I have wanted to play Tabletop RPGs with for a very long time. I admire the worldbuilding in his books and would love to get the chance to play a game set in the same world, run by him! I would also love to get to talk to him about world building one day!
What do you think is absolutely essential in creating a safe space for all in a TTRPG game?
I think many things go into creating a safe space but I think one of the key ingredients is trust. Players and GMs need to trust one another to respect each other’s boundaries and trust that the other people at your table have your best interest at heart. Fostering that trust takes time, and the use of tools and communication can help garner it!
News:
This week Mike Shea launches a new kickstarter from: Rise of the Lazy Gamemaster.
About the Author
